Advisor Plays Key Role In Starting The Estate Planning Conversation

written by Hartford Investments

The toughest part of estate planning is getting the conversation started. Your Wellington West Investment Advisor can help get everyone talking

The generation gap isn’t only about fashion and tastes in music. It appears there’s also a gap in how aging parents and their adult children talk about estate planning – or rather don’t talk about estate planning. Estate planning may be the one area of financial management that impacts everyone – after all, it covers both death and taxes – but when it comes to facing up to the reality, it’s the kids who aren’t all right.

A recent survey of parents in their 70s and their adult children sponsored by The Hartford (the U.S, parent of Hartford Investments in Canada) found that while over three quarters of parents are entirely comfortable talking about estate planning issues, over half of their children found it a topic of conversation best avoided.

"Adult children are uncomfortable with these conversations, because they deny that at some point their parents will be gone," says Maureen Mohyde, a Corporate Gerontologist with The Hartford. "But parents want to talk about it, even if it's just talking about passing along one keepsake. Those keepsakes matter a lot, and frankly are what families wind up fighting over."

"One woman told me she would bring up the conversation, and her daughter would say, `Oh, Mom, we don't need to talk about this. You're going to be around for a long time,' " Mohyde says.

As the older, and ostensibly wiser of the two groups, parents are only too aware that a “long time” more accurately applies to the life they’ve already lived. But if their children are continually holding their breath and plugging their ears whenever a parent mentions estate planning, then maybe it’s time to bring in a mediator.

A good place to start is with your financial advisor. One very important reason is that a good financial advisor probably knows your family well already. A parent’s advisor, for example, is likely to have been providing financial advice for several years, building up an intimate knowledge of the family in the process. Chances are the parent’s children already know the advisor personally. That familiarity and trust puts the advisor in the ideal position to get the estate planning conversation started.

Another possible scenario is that neither the parents nor their children have an advisor. In this case, engaging an advisor to get the estate planning ball (a whole lot of other financial balls) rolling also makes perfect sense. Estate planning is a complex process that involves a variety of professional experts – lawyers, tax planners, accountants, insurance agents, business appraisers – whose advice needs to be coordinated and integrated into a single, workable plan. A professional investment advisor committed to fully understanding and responding to the range of needs of his or her clients, should, ideally, have the skills and experience required to pull it all together. The best advisors will have this capability through an established network of professional contacts that they coordinate on behalf of their clients. It’s part and parcel of the level of service the best advice practices offer today. Furthermore, most advisors will be only too happy to take this task on.

Of course, even with the help of an advisor, parents and their children still need to start talking at some point. Estate planning is not a simple subject – emotionally, or in financial terms – to get your head into. And although an advisor will know what needs to be addressed, you can always provide a little help in smoothing the waters.

The Hartford has some tips to help you:

  1. Start with the positive. Nearly all respondents in The Hartford survey indicated they have a positive parent-child relationship. Discussing estate planning is an extension of that positive relationship and has real benefits for both parents and children.
  2. Focus first on things you agree on. Both parents and their adult children are ultimately looking out for each other's best interests. Talk about how you can help each other.
  3. Build on shared values. The survey showed that parents place more value on helping their children accomplish important financial goals such as improving their lifestyles, enjoying a comfortable retirement, and educating their grandchildren than their children realize. Talking about these shared values can lead to discussions about estate planning.
  4. Children should remember that parents are comfortable talking about estate planning. Parents are not only comfortable discussing estate planning, they are more receptive to suggestions about planning such as writing a will than children realize.
  5. Children should ask how they can help parents maintain their independence. Estate planning can involve drawing up important legal directives such as a durable power of attorney, living will or health care directive. These planning devices can play a big part in helping an older parent ensure his or her wishes are carried out, even if their health fails. Asking parents about what steps they have taken towards this goal is an important first step in talking about larger estate planning issues.

With a little sensitivity, and the expertise of a Wellington West investment advisor, you can bridge the estate planning generation gap and get started on realizing the many benefits that a carefully considered estate plan can provide.

Nothing contained herein shall constitute investment advice or recommendation to buy or sell a security, by Hartford Mutual Funds or their manager, Hartford investments Canada Corp. (Hartford Investments). Hartford Investments is a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc.